Category Archives: Shamanism

Moon Magick

Triple Goddess Moon Drum

The New Moon Rises at Sunrise
The Waxing Half Moon Rises at Noon
The Full Moon Rises at Sunset
The waning Half Moon Rises at Midnight
– Traditional Saying, Source Unknown

When I learned this for the first time I began to understand better the cycles of life, and the cycles of magick.

The New Moon, the dark moon, is never seen. Not only is it not in the sky – it is on the other side of the planet at night. As it gently waxes it can be seen setting in the west at sunset, or rising in the east just before dawn.

The New Moon is darkness, potential, and the empty space at the bottom of a breath. This is the time to decide what your course will be with the waxing moon. It is a time of waiting, of receiving.

Like the night before a journey, there is nothing more to be done. You know what path you will start out on in the morning, with the first glimmer of moon.

As time passes, that moon sets later, and is fuller. You can sometimes see it in the daytime, too. It’s sweet to watch a waxing moon as she grows every day, and lingers in the sky a bit longer after sunset.

The Waxing is a time to Learn and Grow and expand. You put your energy into the Path you Chose at the Dark Moon. You feed and nourish the plants, the seeds you have planted begin to wax with the moon (yes, many successful gardeners still plant by the moon phases).

One night, at sunset, the sun will be setting in the west, and the Moon rising in the East. This is the Full Moon. It can also been seen at dawn, when the Moon sets, and the Sun rises. These dusk and dawn moments are a special sacred time of balance between the solar and lunar, the day and night, the male and female, the rational and intuitive – the yin and yang. When these elements are balanced, gateways into deeper consciousness and awareness take place.

The Full Moon is the ripeness of the fruit, the work of the harvest, the gathering of your labours. What you started on the New Moon, comes to pass. Larger projects may require several moons of building and growing (and waning – that’s coming up).

When you see her overhead at night, appreciate the fullness and the beauty and feel the pull on your waters, your strength, your intuition, your dreams, full at this time of the moon. This is a time of energy and activity. Howl your joy at what you have accomplished!

Then comes the time of Waning. This is a time to draw in, re-evaluate, plan, introvert. In order for the waves to come in, they must first go out. Let go. Float, and let your intuition and creativity guide you to what you need next. Evaluate where you have been, and meditate on where you want to go next.

The Waning half rises at midnight, and can also be seen setting around noon. By the time of day, you can tell whether a moon is waning or waxing (though, ideally, once you start to work this Magick, you will always feel it, and not need to check the clock).

Are you ready again for the Dark?

* * *

These cycles of Light and Dark are also true for the Sun, but on a longer time frame.
Feel the waxing and the waning of light and dark, the Moon guides intuition, the Sun guides logic and rationality.

I have finally added the Sun back into my Practice, seeing the fast-wheeling of the moon, and the gentle arcs of the Sun.

There are thirteen moons to a Sun (roughly, with the difference being “Saturnalia,” now celebrated as Christmas). What can you build in a year of Moons?

The Mystery

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Bryce Canyon

So often in our lives we struggle with Truth.

So many people are so certain about the truth. This post is inspired by a street preacher who harasses gays, Muslims, anyone who doesn’t fit his version of Truth. He is so uncomfortable with anything outside his vision of reality, that anything “Other” is relegated to “sin” and “hell.” And he is certain.

One of the miracles of life, is that there is no certainty. I have visions and ideas about how I view and approach the world, but there are always things which do not fit my paradigm, or, indeed, any paradigm currently known. Like Dark Matter, it fits in the maths equations, but we really don’t know what it is.

Or psychic phenomenon, or intuitive guidance. We can theorise and postulate as to how it works, but really? It’s a Mystery.

Some of the Native American tribes actually use that as the name for God: The Great Mystery.

There is always more to be learned, always more to be integrated, and always a higher vibration to aspire to.

If we are certain, then we have created boxes and boundaries, and growth stops. It is only when we recognise that we do not know that we begin to learn.

“He who thinks he knows, doesn’t know. He who knows that he doesn’t know, knows.” – Joseph Campbell

The Mystery is a navigation point like a compass.

“I don’t know that – I will go there and learn.”

or,

“I’m uncomfortable with that, I must find out why.”

or even,

“This terrifies me, that means it is something I must pursue.”

In pursuing the Mystery, we learn and grow.

In Honoring the Mystery, that there is always more Beyond us, we accept the Sacred.

More Lessons from a Coffee Tree

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I was meditating with my Coffee Tree friend, and it showed me a Medicine Wheel – a simple cross that it was making with its branches.

I laughed and said, “You’re struggling in the East” – and the Tree said, “We all do the Best we Can.”

I thought about how challenging it can be to visualise or draw freehand a perfect Medicine Wheel. Yes, the tree was right, and when I check in with my Spirit and my Relationship to the Earth, Water, Fire, and Air – it’s never in perfect balance. There are excesses of emotion, or deficiencies of passion, gaps and surpluses. It’s a Life’s Work to keep the Medicine Wheel in balance and wholeness.

Pay attention to your work with the Medicine Wheel. Just this week I was doing my prayers to the Four Directions, Above, Below and Within to create a Medicine Wheel, but caught myself calling to Sky Father when I meant to be calling Earth. This mistake is a clue about my struggle to manifest. Maybe I want God to do the manifesting for me (when it is really my own Work). Perhaps you forgot a detail – what was that in the East again? I encourage everyone to draw the Medicine Wheel, to visualise it, to pray with it, to make your prayers in the fullness of the Four Winds and the qualities of Being that they represent.

Then the Tree said, “Look at me! The Good Red Road!”

Carl Jung Medicine Wheel (Red Book)

I looked, and saw that the vertical stem is the Good Red Road, the path of straight and narrow, of Guidance from Heaven.

I’ve heard American Indians speak of “The Good Red Road,” and I’ve looked at the Medicine Wheel and scratched my head, wondering – what is this road?

The Tree showed me that in the East, the Sun Rises, and we are Born. We travel our lives from East to West, as the Sun does, and age during the journey. This is why in many traditions the Ancestors dwell in the West. Irish Celts call the Island that lies West of the Sunset Tir Na Nog, or “Land of the Young;” in Native British traditions, it’s the Summer Isle.

So as we travel from baby to old age – we are guided by the good Red Road. There are a number of diversions, and there are areas we excel in. If the Road of Life is 100 miles long, maybe your strongest connection to the Vertical Stave will be at 25 miles. Perhaps you will achieve connection and excellence at 70 miles. Some travel those miles in just a few short years – some of us are fortunate enough to have decades to travel those miles. Some may be able to stay connected to Heaven and Earth throughout their lives, perhaps some will be lost most of the Journey from Birth to Death.

Medicine Wheel Life Lines

This brought to mind an image of 1000 people, walking from East to West, and all of the peaks and valleys of their lives. We all travel our lives, working on the Lessons we’ve been given.

The Vertical Stave is the guiding star, the upright posture, the spine with Infinity at top (Heaven) and bottom (Earth). Taiji is the dance between Heaven and Earth (yin / yang). Wuji is the Wholeness of the balance.

You need to stand up straight, to be strong in order to perceive the horizon (the horizontal Path of Life on the Medicine Wheel). A tree strives, nourishing its roots in the Earth, reaching towards heaven. Not all trees are straight and tall, nor are all humans.

But we each walk the Path that is before us.

Plant Medicine

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Shaman Explorations – Baby Pineapple

There are many people who believe that Plant Medicine only happens when you drink mysterious brews in the Rainforest of South America.

What I have learned is that there are three Great Medicines. Plant Medicine, Animal Medicine, and Stone Medicine. These Medicines are an integral part of our daily life. Animal Medicine is frequently how we harmonise and gain support in the Lower World. It, and Stone Medicine are topics for another time.

But Plant Medicine?

Let’s look at it on the Medicine Wheel.

Air – We love the beauty of flowers and their fragrant perfumes. We use trees to put our ideas into writing, with pencils and books. We inhale steam and smoke. I participate in Air Plant Medicine every time I hold a Pipe Ceremony (smoke). We smudge with sage and sweetgrass, and purify ourselves. We wear perfumes, and fill our homes with aromatherapy. All of this is Plant Medicine.

Fire – We keep ourselves warm by burning plants, and the warmth of lights at night is from plants. Coal is made up of plants, and wood has been used for cooking and heating fuel for millennia. Fire is also involved in smoking and smudging. This, too is all Plant Medicine.

Water – One of my favourite Plant Medicines! Making tea! We drink the plants in coffee and tea. We savour succulent fruits such as mangoes and citrus, and make orange juice and lemon juice. We cook with the plants. Spices in our foods (different spices might be in different places on the Medicine Wheel – chilli’s might be fiery, peppermint more watery, while paprika might be considered more earthy) provide flavour to our cooking.

Earth – Possibly the most widely used form of Plant Medicine. All of our vegetables, leafy greens, roots, fruits, stalks, grains, lentils – we get so much nourishment for our body from the Plants and their Medicine. Each plant has different qualities – the pineapple produces bromelain, an aid to digestion and a healer of burns. Each plant has a different profile of vitamins and minerals (Yes, that’s Stone Medicine, too), aminos and enzymes to help humans be healthier. Each plant has its own Medicine which is particular to it – whether it is the leaves of the kale, or the roots of the beet.

There is a reason why all religions have a pause of Gratitude before eating a meal. Not only does it aid digestion, but gives us an opportunity to be mindful of the beautiful Plant Medicine that we are about to merge with. You are what you eat!

We all use Plant Medicine every day.

Take some time to appreciate the Plant Medicine in your life.

Shaman Explorations – Pineapple Aug 2018

Three Worlds of Shamanic Journeys

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Carl Jung Red Book 84

One of the Teachings which cannot be repeated enough – is this: What are the qualities and differences of the Three Worlds that we visit in Shamanic States?

In The Lower World, you access your more primitive self, and the support it gives you, body, emotions, thoughts, and actions. To get to the Lower World, you start out travelling the Middle World until you find a hole, and enter the hole – it may be uncomfortable but the tunnel will open up into the Lower World. When it opens up, you know you are there. Many times the information received in the Lower World is non-verbal, or may take the form of colours, sounds, feelings, or tactile sensations. It is helpful to have someone who is skilled in Non-Ordinary Consciousness to interpret the experiences there.

Here is where you meet your Animal Helpers (which may become Medicine, Ally, or Power Animal as you develop relationships with them). Remember the formula for Animal Helpers: “Are you my Helper?” and “Thank you, what may I give you?” These Helpers support your walk in the Middle World, your daily life, and offer you insights into your native abilities and powers. They also offer the strength to help with Upper World journeys, and Power to manifest adjustments in the Middle World.

Floral Tribute in local Park

The Middle World is the Realm that overlaps with your daily life. It is the Realm of current existence, but it is also the Dreamtime. According to Aboriginals, the Dreamtime is always in a State of Creation. The Middle World gives you access to the Spiritual influences on your present, your daily life. Experiences in the Middle World can include Ancestors, and this is the place where Healing is done. For example, a Reiki Master manipulates energy flow in the Middle World in order to open your own body to healing. This is also the place where you can gain psychic information by seeing the energy of a situation: if there is a difficult puzzle or challenge, journeying to the Middle World can help you see the energetics of the relationship or situation, and possible remedies to help the situation. With skill and the support of your Helper Animals, you can manipulate the energies during the Journey – offering gifts, love and light, or shifting a pattern in order to remedy conflict or difficult challenges.

So the Middle World has psychic, empathic/emotional, and Ancestral Powers. It can be used for Remote Viewing (seeing things in a distant place), Astral Travel, and Energetic Awareness, and is useful in gaining practical knowledge and information. Additionally, if you have a pressing matter in the Lower and Upper Worlds, you may receive Visitations from those worlds – animals from the Lower World, and Guides from the Upper World.

Orange Sky by Nancy Settle

The Upper World is often challenging to achieve, and I don’t recommend it for beginners. It is immensely helpful to be supported by the Animal Powers of the Lower World before attempting the Upper World. To go to the Upper World, you must climb, rise or fly up. You will find a Barrier – this Barrier is different for everyone – some say it is like cellophane or gelatine, others see it as dense light or darkness, still others have experienced it as intense sound. Passing through the Barrier, you will know you are in the Upper World. (note: it is possible to fly out into space and miss the Barrier – this is still Astral Travel in the Middle World, and is not the Upper World.)

In the Upper World you will receive Teachings from Guides & Guardians, Angels and even Divine Beings. Again, it is different for everyone, but the Teachings received here are often verbal, and do not need interpretation. The Messages are often direct (though they may be cryptic and require years of living to unravel the puzzle), and an Energetic Transfer or Upgrade from the Guide to the Shaman may take place.

Carl Jung – Map of Human Consciousness

Travel is not restricted to these Worlds, there are sometimes surprises. But many of the Worlds (or Realities) that you visit are likely to be a subcategory of one of these Three Worlds.

Anytime you are dipping into an altered state of consciousness, you are accessing your subconscious (called “The Personal Unconscious” in Jung’s diagram above), the culture that created that subconscious, and the Collective Unconsciousness behind the culture. This is where Archetypes are found, and they are frequently common to many humans of varied culture and background.

This is where the deep Insights take place – and they may come from Middle, Lower and Upper world.

Bush Turkey, Sun Warrior

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I learned a lesson from a juvenile bush turkey.

We have a bush turkey mound, with an adult male tending the eggs. It’s nearing the end of its useful life, but we have juvenile bush turkeys still hanging around the yard.

It’s like having a flock of dinosaurs wandering the property. Only – they are not like a flock, they are very individual and solitary. These fierce animals seek out insects and seeds, and compete with each other for resources. The adult will chase the young ones away, and watching their behaviour has been like observing an ancient mystery.

The Turkey is the giveaway bird, providing graciously his meat and feathers, eggs, and in the case of the Australian bush turkey, leaving a huge fertile compost mound for the garden.

I am happy watching the turkeys as they hunt their beetles and worms as they forage on our wooded property. I was meditating in the garden when I saw a young turkey fiercely walking around seeking nourishment. I marvelled at this ancient creature of instinct, and delighted in watching him, when –

He flopped over on his side!

Was he okay? I held my breath. He was on his side, just beyond clear sight – I could see his speckled breast. When I saw it, I realised that, on this cloudy day, he was in a ray of sunlight, pointing his breast to the sun.

Then, just as I was ready to release my breath, he jumped up and went back to his fierce survey of his domain. The sun went back behind the clouds.

He took a 2 minute sunbath, exposing his belly. I’m thrilled that he felt safe enough to do that – I’m also thrilled that he reminded me how important the sun is to our energy. His brain isn’t very big, but his instincts were true – we all need the sun for energy.

And he reminded me – with his giveaway medicine – that self-care includes many things, and is essential to our growth, health and life.

Everything is Training

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In Shamanism, everything is training.

You may think that it only involves Journeying, or meditating, or yoga.

But you can be practicing shamanism as you work on your art – drawing, painting, knitting, sewing, writing, tending children, cooking, dancing, communicating.

Someone asked me in class the other night, “Who drums for you?” and sadly, I don’t have a drummer right now. But that does not preclude my shamanic practice.

I dance with altered states before I fall asleep at night. I try and hold on to those theta moments before I drop off into delta sleep. I open my inner eyes to whatever unfolds in those moments. I pause before getting out of bed to relish the dreams that were given me.

I close my eyes and I see paths, or rainbow-like arcs, mandalas, combinations of circles, squares, triangles, braids and the medicine wheel. I don’t always understand the message of these visions, but they are like confirmation that I am still learning and growing.

What about walking? Exercising? Cleaning? Eating? Playing games? Talking?

It’s all shamanism.

When we clean, we are also cleaning our spiritual selves. If you breathe and pay attention while you are cleaning – wiping that counter, clearing your thoughts, being mindful to the little life beneath your cloth – you can participate in it as a spiritual practice.

When you walk, are you lost in your own thoughts, wool-gathering? Or do you look to the sky, and see a bird – what bird is it that crossed your path today? Or a butterfly? A grasshopper? Become mindful of the world around you, and simple walking can be a practice.

Even wool-gathering can be a sort of shamanic practice – lose yourself so that you may find yourself again.

Exercising can be a practice, as you move your bones and joints, pay attention to how your inner world is responding to your activity. Enjoy the feel of flexing muscles, strong breathing, heart beating, joints bending, and participate in the joy of using your body.

Eating is a sacred act – do you give thanks for the food you partake of? It is about to become a part of you! Be grateful and honor the food you absorb for your life!

Play is also training of the highest order. Are you passionate about your play? (this can be sport, or games, or playing with children – or acting like children!) Do you play fair? What is your response when something unfair happens? What are the rules? Do you respect others? Watch the game unfold, and you are learning and growing. I believe that play and playfulness are underestimated in our society – we learn best when it is fun, and you help to structure your brain as you learn rules and fair play. You learn to control your emotions when things don’t go your way. The Game of Life is what we are training for – and play, games, playfulness are great ways to train!

Talking and communicating is a high practice, too. Are you speaking good and true things? Are you kind to others? Are you learning to understand the other person? Can you see a point of view other than your own?

Anytime you engage your awareness, you are practicing shamanism.

Rhythm and Brain Waves

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Dragon Drum

The rhythm of the music you listen to – accesses different states.

Beta – active heart rate and above (like exercise, too). This is “pop music,” “rock and roll,” the things you hear on the radio.

Alpha – as close to slow, comfortable heart rate. This is meditation music, droning, a rhythm that matches a relaxed heart rate.

Theta – is more of a nervous system rhythm. Like a train running along it’s tracks. This is the shamanic drumbeat. For initiates, it seems too fast, too driving. But you get conditioned so that when you hear it, you are ready to go.

Delta – like an Alpha, only much, much slower – it encourages the heartbeat to slow further, even though a delta rhythm is slower than a heartbeat, and the heartbeat will never match it. Max Richter’s “Sleep” is all done in Delta.

Restoration happens in Delta (sleep). Theta and Delta are what is missing from an insomniacs life.

As shamans, we can restore theta in a waking state, and perhaps it will give you a better pathway to delta.

If you listen to an Indian Raga, it starts out in a gentle alpha, and gradually increases through beta to a fast theta, so that it enhances the entire being into a heightened, creative state. (this raga is an hour long, to demonstrate the journey through these tempos.)

Rhythm gives us access to the deeper parts of ourselves. Rhythm influences us whether we recognize it or not.

The screen switching rate of the TV, coupled with the music, is very manipulative of our emotional states. In advertising, it is trying to produce a feeling of anxiety, insecurity, or fear – so that you need whatever it is they are offering. If you compare today’s TV with the TV of 30-50 years ago, you will notice that the tempo of the “old TV” is much slower, as they were still learning how to best effect the human nervous system.

Now it is a fine science, called “Neuromarketing” or “Neuroscience Marketing,” and it not only includes visual and audio rhythm, but also colour, tone, texture – all designed to create a need and sell a product, service, or idea. Think about how the “header music” of the news program always captures your attention with its marching beat. If it is on, it influences you whether you are aware of it or not.

Be aware of it. Seek out natural rhythms like birdsong, water flow, classical, folk, and uplifting music (that’s a topic all to itself, as some rhythms of music, especially pop and rock, can be disruptive to the nervous and emotional systems).

Honour the rhythms of your own body – your breath, your heartbeat, your hunger, your sleeping, your waking. In this mindfulness, you can begin to open yourself to greater potential.

Animal, Plant, Stone Medicine

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Bjarnling – a beautiful manifestation of my Dog Medicine

In Circle, I am reluctant to name any animals we meet as anything more than Helper.

I am not you, only you know how deep your relationship with this animal goes.

This is also true for plant people and stone people. So when you are helped by a plant, an animal, or a stone – seek to develop a relationship with that Helper.

Is this not true of everyone we meet? Is this not true of our relationship to the things we ingest, the practices we perform?

I believe that the reason we are on this Earth is to relate to one another. In so doing, we join, we contradict, we learn, we grow. In so doing, we deepen our connection with the Earth and each other. We become closer to that mystery that is G-d.

When you see an ant crawling across your foot, do you marvel that he is perfect in form, industrious in nature, and there you are – on his Path? Or do you hurry to shake him off? The simplest of things – and this includes Ordinary Mindfulness – the bloom of a tree, the flight of a bird, the new shoots in spring – are uplifting and supporting you, if you let them.

Explore your relationship to your Helpers, and as your relationship deepens, you will become more supported, and heal yourself and the Earth, and recognise your kinship to all of Creation.

In my own healing journey, I have learned that as I heal myself, I become a greater asset to my tribe and community. As I learn to heal myself, I gain wisdom that will help others. It seems selfish and counter-intuitive that we can help humanity by healing ourselves – but where else do we begin?

The cutting edge for me is my relationship to my food. Do I just hammer it down because it’s tasty? Or do I feel, mindfully, heartfully, the life that is in the food? The work that has gone into getting it to my table? There is a reason that cultures worldwide give thanks before a meal. Say, “Grace.” I try to remember to do at least that: not a long prayer for the food to get cold, but a single, deep, calming breath, and I whisper the word, “Grace.”

For the Medicine only comes to me by the Grace of All That Is. It is Grace that means I am fed while someone else goes hungry. It is Grace that this animal has crossed my path today. It is Grace that I take a breath of air, Grace to have a drink of clean water. It is Grace to hear the whispers of trees in the wind, or smell a fragrant plant on your Path.

In cultivating a relationship with your Medicine, therefore, the most important aspect is Gratitude. It is Grace that has brought you this Medicine – be grateful for this gift. Always ask, “What can I give you?” This Medicine has not come to you because you deserve it, it has come to you as a gift. Be grateful, acknowledge this stroke of Grace, and offer something in return.

So – it seems there are several “classes” of Beings who are around us assisting us at all times. I call them Helper, Medicine, Power Animal, and Guardian.

Helper – is any Being, Animal, Stone, Plant who aids you in your Journey in Non-Ordinary Reality and Ordinary Reality. I include “Allies” in this (see Carlos Castaneda Thread where I’m exploring relationships to Allies). When you are in the Lower World, and you see an animal, and as, “Are you my Helper?” the animal may say, “No,” but – isn’t this yet another form of Helping?

Medicine – after you have worked with a Helper for a time, you develop a relationship with them. They may have a special place on your medicine wheel (for example, my Frog comes to me from Sky/Above, is a gift from G-d to me), or a certain role they serve in your life (Wolf helps me teach). Medicine is a deeper relationship than Helper. This is the stone you carry in your pocket, the tea which is “just right” and you always come back to. This is the animals, plants and trees you observe in Ordinary Reality – and the healing you receive in Non Ordinary Reality.

Power – This is unique to you. Your Power animal is always there for you, waits for you at the boundaries of Non-Ordinary Reality, and accompanies you on the Journey, supporting and guiding you on the Non-Ordinary path. The challenge with Power Animals is feeling them in Ordinary reality. They are there – they empower you to deal with the mundane world – but it is a different level to perceive their support in the Ordinary Realm.

Guardian –Popular lore says we all have Guardian Angels. Michael Harner alludes to this – that we would not have survived to adulthood without Guardians. I have, over the years, seen a Guardian. My Guardians look human, albeit eccentric. I speak to them often, even though they are frequently invisible. More often, I sense them as invisible presences, and speak to them to help me solve the problems of my life, or help me to understand better, or to bring me the lessons I need to grow. They intercede for me – it is easier to communicate with them than with the Mystery that is Great Spirit. For me, the Guardian comes to me most clearly in the Upper World to teach and transform as I learn to relate to him/her/them.

It is the “Power Animal” or the “Guardian Helper” that comes in a proper Vision Quest. I believe there are other Helpers along the way – I believe that the Universe itself supports us when we seek to better ourselves, when we speak the truth, and keep our word. When we are on a path to do this, synchronicities and events will aid us on that path.

Helpers and Medicine can change or grow or shift over time. Even Powers and Guardians can come and go. There is no need to attach to “I am a Bear,” or “I am a Buffalo,” because perhaps that Buffalo is for your time as a mother, or the Bear is for the time when your children are gone. Different stages in our lives require different lessons, and while that bird may be a deep comfort now, there may come a time when the bird lets you go and a snake takes over your tutelage.

In Michael Harner, he speaks of dancing your animal. I believe this is a valuable practice. You can do a ceremony, as he discusses in his book – or you can do a daily Practice. Dedicate a time each day to connect to your Medicine animal as a Practice. Feel the grace of the cat, or the wings of the bird, or the diligence of Mr. Ant, or the gentle consideration of a tree. Even if it is just a moment, this empathy with your animal will help to deepen your relationship.

Anytime we deepen relationships – with animals, with plants, with stones – and with each other – we strengthen our medicine.

Meditation is Essential

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Medicine Wheel by Carl Jung, from the Red Book

It’s essential to have a meditation Practice.

I can tell you a few that I’ve tried, and what I like and why. It is individual, so you will have to find your own way.

My first exposure to meditation was Yoga, at age 13. But I didn’t know I was doing meditation, I just thought I was learning greater physical control of my body. This was a huge benefit to an adolescent girl! In fact, I made speeches at my school about how it was physically beneficial, but did not have a religious element to it! I now think there is enough in yoga for a lifetime of spiritual development.

Then I found the martial arts, but I didn’t think it was meditation, either. I thought of it as a way for self defense, and physical prowess. I liked being able to beat up testosterone fuelled guys, and it gave me a sense of empowerment. Now that I’ve practiced various forms of marital arts for 30 years (on and off, due to injuries), I think there is enough there for a lifetime of mental discipline and depth of refinement to last a lifetime.

When I first started exploring esoteric subjects, I took up Mindfulness Meditation, as taught by Thich Nhat Hanh. Ah, I thought! Meditation! And it was. I learned to Witness my thoughts, and watched the thoughts become still and deep. I also think it enhanced my magick – my ability to shape my own consciousness to effect change in my life. But I didn’t understand how. Mindfulness meditation was – a tool. It refined my personality, but it was subtle.

Then came all the esoteric meditations: visualization (holding an image in your mind), ceremonies, and rituals, setting of intent and sending of energy to gather what I believed I wanted. Awesome. But it’s easy to get deluded and charmed by these – and miss the point. The point is – if I was so Great, if I am One with the Universe, then why was I casting spells?

Somewhere in there, I experienced Guided meditation. I hated it. The guidance was always to visualise things which were not in my nature. I would see a mountain, the guided meditation would send me to a grassy valley. I would see a stream, but the guided meditation wanted me to see a hall of doors. Or a staircase. Or whatever!

I do still use guided meditations, mostly to induce a relaxed state in preparation for dreaming or Journeying.

Then, I was initiated into Shamanism. I thought it was meditation at the time, just a different format of the esoteric stuff. It took about 10 years of practice before I started to feel my way and realized that – the theta state, while it can be achieved through meditation, is a creative state with direct access to the subconscious. It would take decades of meditation practice to call it up at will – and yet the drum brings it so simply, so easily.

But after my initiation, I let it drop for awhile, thinking it was just another meditation.

I started sitting Zen. This had value in the silent depths of it. I did not feel it refining me personally, and there seemed to be a lot of “more Zen than thou” games at the Zen Center. But I found it valuable to sit for 15-20 minutes at time when I still could. I had back pain, and it became difficult to sit properly for Zen.

Then I learned kundalini meditations. At the school I went to, it was guided meditations, but it was gentle, and opening. They were guided meditations, coupled with yoga practices and writing and creative exercises. It was like a personal development course, looking at the layers of kundalini and exploring my chakras on different levels. The founder of the school, Genevieve Paulson, is gone, and my teacher no longer offers retreat teachings (but you can meditate with her “in the cloud”)

So – the next thing to try was TM, Transcendental Meditation. I had heard about it at the kundalini retreats, and my boyfriend did it – 2 x 20 minutes a day. There was a “half price special” so I got initiated. It is a basic mantra meditation. There is value to mantra meditation – it can take you deep, fast, and separates you from your thoughts more quickly than Zen or Mindfulness Witnessing. But I started to dissociate, and worried that it was erasing Jan while it was “refining” her. I didn’t feel any refinement, it was just like a deeper sleep.

If you want to try a mantra, don’t pay $$$$ like I did. Try So-Ham. So-ham is the joining of all binaries: In / Out breath, Male / Female, Holding / Giving, Day / Night, Rain / Earth, Wind / Fire. As you inhale (So) see the Yang, as you exhale, see the Yin. As breath comes in (Yang), feel it spread to your body as you exhale (Yin). Ride the So-ham mantra for 20 minutes a day. It will refine you, it will take you to deep states of consciousness, and it will prepare you for exploring in your Journeys.

There is a danger to mantra meditation though. While you are repeating the syllables, you are simplifying your brain – and while it can serve you to be simplified, it effectively works as an entrainment procedure which also makes you vulnerable to outside influence – like mind control. As I was in TM, I was susceptible to all the hogwash that goes with the practice.

After the brainwave flattening and mind control of TM and other rituals of guru practice, I return to shamanic practice.

In shamanism, I fly my own ship. The information and experiences I find in the shamanic Other Consciousness is rewarding, enriching, comforting, and teaching. It requires discipline and balance. Holding on and letting go. I don’t need to worship a specific deity or guru, I don’t need to adopt authoritarian practices or participate in fear based religion.

In shamanism, I am presented the lessons exactly as I am ready for them.

And in shamanism, I start to see the meditative value of my other practices. Pipe ceremony and prayer, medicine wheel and protection. Yoga, where my body becomes guru and guides me to the open spaces Inside. Karate, which challenges my mind and body to synchronize and develop coherence. Walking, which enhances mindfulness. Mindfulness – which enhances my entire life.

Shamanism pointed me back to the practices which are valuable – and meditation is now more integrated into my life. I still have practices – but they are foundations upon which my meditations are built.

In the beginning, chop wood and carry water. In the end, chop wood and carry water. The work is the meditation.